How To Get Yourself An Engineerboy

>> Saturday, June 5, 2010

Since doing this sort of thing seems to be all the rage nowadays.

Before we begin, you must know that at any time, you can speed up this whole terribly complex process (or even completely skip procedure) depending on amount of cleavage you decide to show. Just so you know.

1. Identify: You see that good-looking bespectacled boy with the pair of earphones and no sense of style? That is possibly him. Trail him. If he finishes his canteen dosai and then proceeds to go attend a quiz somewhere, he's your man. These boys are always attending quizzes somewhere.

2. Read up: On trivia from the following movies: Star Wars/ Lord of the Rings/ all Quentin Tarantino movies/ all Mani Ratnam movies. These may sound pedestrian, but the good Engineer Boy has a vulgar amount of information on most of these (plus of course even more trivia about a wholly abnormal number of films). Repeat this process with information about Jimi Hendrix and Metallica, and any other popular music not made by a boy band.

3. Accost: At (obviously) a quiz club event. Start a conversation and mention in passing pieces of the completely useless information you should have gleaned by now from Wikipedia. At a relevant moment, say something like, "OMG don't be such a lameass padawan!!" It makes little sense and might sound stupid to the uninformed outsider, but the engineerboy will be duly impressed. After the quiz is over and you have placed first, tell him how even though he came 3rd, you thought he "totally pwned" that one question about Naughty America. Then glance down at the the large erection outlined in his pants and smile cunningly, and whisperingly give him directions to the restroom (in Elvish).

4. Make your mark!: Now that you have ingratiated yourself with his skewed sense of what is cool, let him know you can think for yourself. Violently diss an A.R.Rahman album. He might walk away, but curiosity will lead him back. If he doesn't return... well, fuck it. There are so many more of them!

5: This is important: In bed, if you ever get that far, let him cry a little afterwards. Take steps to ensure he doesn't start to resent you. Maybe hold him and offer him a cookie.

6. Be careful: Around his parents. Never let on that you are anything more than friends. He's most probably terrified of his parents and in fact, his meek-looking father is actually the reason he's been bullied into doing his engineering anyway. Which leads me to my next point:

7. Don't expect to date an engineer: If you do start going with your gorgeous quizzer-boy, chances are he won't stay an engineer for long. Once his filial promises have been fulfilled and he has an engineering degree, he'll go a little nuts and start doing something completely unexpected and dorky, like making and selling his own Star Wars quilts, or something unexpected and cool, like being a professional bonsai artist. Chances are, he might decide to do an MBA. At which point, you must leave him.

Similar(ish) articles you might enjoy:

How To Date An Indian (Advice For The Non-Indian) - which, really, started it all.

and the not-so-reverent:


[Most important addendum: I loathe Metallica, and am not into either Tarantino or Mani Ratnam movies. Please don't hurt me.]

24 comments:

Suraj June 5, 2010 at 10:06 PM  

Makes me wonder how you did your research for this post.

Nor June 5, 2010 at 11:29 PM  

By hanging around at quizzes and Cleverly Observing.

Daddysan June 6, 2010 at 12:27 AM  

I should've seen the signs all those years ago. Then I wouldn't have ended up all happily married.

Nor June 6, 2010 at 12:42 AM  

Yeah, boo to you. BOO.

Anonymous June 6, 2010 at 1:39 PM  

how would this change if it's a sardar engineerboy? they don't quiz.

Nor June 6, 2010 at 2:47 PM  

You're so bad at anonymity it's not funny.

speedpost June 7, 2010 at 9:09 PM  

You missed out the moustache bit. :)

Nor June 8, 2010 at 4:03 AM  

OH HA HA HA

xcalibr June 13, 2010 at 2:02 PM  

Hehe - hilarious! I must be cautious now I guess! :p

Anonymous June 13, 2010 at 3:53 PM  

ROTFL.The participation at quiz events might just increase thanx 2 this post. Keep it up :)
P.S: A similiar post bout gamers too :D

Ray July 3, 2010 at 11:46 PM  

You know..i really wish more girls would pay heed to this article *sighs*

Apoyando July 4, 2010 at 1:45 PM  

lolz...
*I likes*

Blasphemeister July 25, 2010 at 11:38 PM  

Really? Reaaaaallly? Well I'll be damned. :P

Continuum July 31, 2010 at 6:46 PM  

Nailed it!
I love how it ends. Since most of them will do an MBA or worse, an MS.

Anonymous August 22, 2010 at 2:33 AM  

Saw you on Twitter

@pigeonladyX I will unfollow you over my dead body - cgawker

Then checked out the site. Liked this post. Couldn't get some of it, though. Wondering what sort of person you are.

Nor August 22, 2010 at 4:53 AM  

I'm a pretty awesome person, anon.

Anonymous August 30, 2010 at 8:33 AM  

And oh, you forgot about the Engineer Boy's obsession for the latest gadgets and software.
Sigh. Yes. I've been subject to one of "those" as well.
Say, how do you manage to get up all those snazzy pictures on your blog?

Venkataramana Reddy November 23, 2010 at 6:43 PM  

Been around quiz clubs long enough to know that only feminist lesbians turn up for quizzes, if they turn up at all.So if you have been to quiz clubs and seen this sort of thing happening, let me know which quiz clubs. Not certainly the quiz club at VIT.

SSD November 24, 2010 at 11:37 AM  

Since when did girls need a guide to get boys? And engineers? THE easiest fish to fry. They will probably melt away when you smile and say hi. Most of them at least.

PS: I'm an engineer too :P

ChAnkur November 26, 2010 at 8:58 PM  

Bespectacled: yes
No sense of style: yes
Quizzes: no
Star wars/LOTR/QT/Metallica: no
ARR: hell yess

So, m more of a half-baked engineer.
No wonder, no1 thought of getting me.. ;)

Unknown February 21, 2011 at 12:17 PM  

Why only engineer boys...What happened to the art and science boys and computer geeks... or were u indirectly implying we blokes already the cool ones? In that case you're absolutely right...

Interesting points made... you did however forget one point...in bed u might actually have a little problem...cos the engineer boy might suddenly come up with a new form of contraceptive or even a bed concept and might actually stop himself in the act just to go take on the project to help others perform better forgetting that he hasnt yet performed...

ps. No offense to engineering boys...I'm the computer geek almost the same boat if u ask me...we'd probably just come up with algorithms n shit...

damselsansdistress February 28, 2011 at 8:45 PM  

The list is hilarious but from what I know, there happens to be a serious hot chick drought in engineering colleges, so any reasonably attractive girl can get an engineerboy.

The last point makes me feel a little low because I happen to be in love with an engineerboy and er, he's planning to do an MBA too. :/

Insomniac August 22, 2011 at 9:32 AM  

Damn this cheat sheet. You got your facts right though. Geeks like to talk about all this and its the easy way to nab them hook, line and sinker. Quoting movie dialogues would be an added bonus :D

Ganga Bharani (GB) September 25, 2011 at 9:00 PM  

nice one

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